I'm in the process of finishing my thank you notes. Before I began, I felt a bit overwhelmed by the task. I wondered how I could possibly express my sincerity while listing off inventories of the gifts we received.
I've never written a thank you card before. Looking back, there are many occasions when I should have, and I didn't.
I've avoided most events that would make me feel obligated towards people. The thought of someone doing something for me; made my throat constrict.

The never ending obligation.

But Jesse and I became pregnant.
And when you're having babies, there's not a lot of choice in the matter anymore.
People are going to get involved.
And so, for the first time, maybe in my life, I set foot into this foggy world in which people do nice things for eachother without asking for a receipt.
I wasn't naturally comfortable with it, but I submitted myself.

Several months later I sit down to complete my one and only task.
Thank you cards.
As I conceptualized it before hand, I couldn't figure out how I'd say thank you in such a powerful way that it would some how break even.

I've finished all but a few of them now. Tomorrow the cards will probably go out, and I realize that I didn't settle the score.
Fortunately, I'm pleased to find through the process that thank you cards aren't about math.
I had a genuine desire to meditate on each person and the good thing they'd done for us.
Often I'd drift from writing in an attempt to figure out the parameters of this experience regarding its effect on my life.
Of course, I couldn't. It just go's on exponentially.
At each bend we've encountered, I learn of some new way this has unexpectedly and drastically changed... everything.
In this case, it's the simple lesson that receiving gifts can feel really nice without any need for residual anxiety.
That sometimes people actually want to do something for me, and they're not asking me to enter a contract.

Which is not to say there isn't a contract.
There definately is.
But neither of us oversaw the fine print.
It just happened.
And I'm breathing just fine.