I met Jesse's parents last night. They were very sweet people. They had the fireplace lit as we came in, and the radio playing old 70's music. They were very easy to get a long with. I never felt like I was being interviewed. We didn't even focus very much on the pregnancy, the relationship, or what my life is all about. We just made easy conversation naturally.
Tonight I go back to work. I take the red eye to New York and tomorrow I'll end up laying over in Puerto Rico. I don't want to go. I really don't want to go. But I've had plenty of time off and maybe this will be just what I need to get moving. I've been really lazy this past month and haven't kept up with any of my goals. I'll allow myself that, but now I have to get it together and get on.
I felt a few cramps in my abdomen today and it made me nervous. I'm always expecting a miscarriage. I'll feel much better in two weeks when the embryonic stage is over.
I feel like I've been so focused on this pregnancy that I don't have anything interesting to say or think. I'm self conscious about it and will purposefully try to pull myself out of the cycle of obsession.
I need to continue to be a real person. A relatable person. I'll enjoy all of this a lot more if it's not my whole world.